Recently, I had a rare time to just sit and enjoy a cup of coffee by the window. The world was silent. My thoughts were racing, thinking about everything and nothing. All of a sudden, I wondered why its too quite. Then I realized that I havent been listening to music anymore. The radio at home has been quite for the longest time. When life was not as busy as it is now, when I was single and left to hound by myself, I used to live and breath music. Im not a musician ha,just had to clear that up. I just love listening to music all the time. Our home used to tremble from the loud songs blasting from the speakers. No complains from dad since he loved my playlist. When Im out, headphones were permanently plugged into my ears. I bought a CDman with my first salary. My room was littered with CDs of Alanis Morrissette. Rivermaya and Eraserheads,anyone?
What happened? Why did the songs stopped? Why did it became too silent? Well, life happened that's why. I was too busy creating a new home for my young family that I forgot how to enjoy an ordinary day. Life got too hectic that I would go through the day in a rush.
Always running, always in a hurry.
If I stop as to take a breath, I'll get left behind.I'll get smashed by the competition.
Smell the flowers? Hear the birds sing? Who has the time?
Life is a rat race after all. Or so I thought.
Today, I realized that Im too tired of all the rushing and running. I am close to burning out. Just like my favorite book, Not Quite Burned Out But Crispy Around the Edges, I felt like I am about to give up. I love my job, you know. Yes, I do. It brings me satisfaction and fulfillment, not just for the financial gratification but for my contributions in the society. I am happy when Im teaching, but the pressure is slowly mounting, leaving me grasping in the edge for sweet sanity. Dont you just love a life that is uncomplicated and less stressful? Its not easy to achieve but I really want that. I really do.
I want to take my time, enjoy nature, hug Zay while she still lets me, kiss Hubby and cuddle up, live a simple life, enjoy my coffee in the morning without scalding myself , eat breakfast in a garden, run in the fields, feel the wind in my hair, walk in the beach and feel the sand between my toes. I would love to dance in the rain, have an herb garden, cook great dinners, invite friends over. And of course, listen and take pleasure in music again.
|Balingasag, Misamis Oriental, Philippines|
Maybe, I can do this. Maybe I can enjoy what life has to offer. Maybe I can start by taking it slow and playing my favorite song, right now.