The Last Time


My girl, Zay, is sleeping by my side as I am writing this. She is sprawled out in her bed, hands clutching her favorite blanket and breathing peacefully. I am thinking how she used to sleep just as peacefully in the crook of my arm. I am thinking how she used to cry whenever she was sleepy and I had to dance around the room while carrying her in my arms just for her to fall asleep.

And now, here she is. She seemed to have grown so fast overnight. One time, she fell asleep while watching TV and I had to lift her up and carry her to her room. And I was so surprised at how heavy she was. I can still remember how light as a feather she used to be.

I am looking at her right now and I realized that the last time I will carry her to bed is at hand. She can do that and some other stuff on her own. She now sleeps in her own bed and doesnt call out for me in the middle of the night.  I can feel my heart constricting at the thought of her not needing me and her dad anymore. But I am also aware of the fact that I need to let her grow and be free and be herself.

So I will cherish each moment, each little seemingly ordinary moment. Because I might not be able to tell that it was the last time, until the time is up.

But Zay, one thing is for sure. I will still hug you and kiss you even when your all grown up, because I am your mom until the end. Because my being your mom doesnt have a last time. 


  1. I love this and I'm just like you. I can't believe that my toddler may no longer need me. She's 2 and already so independent. She gets her own milk from the refrigerator. She gets her own clothes and shoes and says "I can do it myself". I really miss those days when I was needed, but as you said, she'll always be my baby and she's so going to keep getting those hugs and kisses.

    Happy to see you back today!

  2. Oh, I so can relate. Zay selects her outfit of the day and is becoming so independent I almost cant believe it. There are times I wanted to stop time and just enjoy each moment. I ask myself often, " Will she go out with me a few years from now or will she prefer to hang out with her friends?" But at the same time, Im quite excited as to what my girl will be like 5 years from now. :)
    I guess we parents can only do one thing. Enjoy every moment. :)
    Thank you Amanda! Hugs to you and Madison!

  3. They do grow up so fast! My boys are 5 and 8 now and are getting so big :) I hope you're having a great weekend!

  4. Kristine I miss you!!! I hope that you're doing ok and that the new year is fabulous for you!

  5. I've been coming by periodically hoping that you'll post something new. I hope you're ok. Please let me know that you are. I missed you.

  6. Awww! Eto nga din yung ineemote ko tuwing maiisip ko na malapit na mag-school si Y. :-( I'm excited but scared at the same time kasi hindi na asa akin iikot ang mundo niya. :-(

  7. I was hoping to see a new post but I'm happy to know that you're ok. Give Zay a hug for us.

  8. Mom's won't accept that their kids are grown up.....Even they got married they will be their kids
    Top 30 Riddles with Answers for Kids

  9. I don’t know how should I give you thanks! I am totally stunned by your article. You saved my time. Thanks a million for sharing this article.


  10. Admin, if not okay please remove!

    Our facebook group “selfless” is spending this month spreading awareness on prostate cancer & research with a custom t-shirt design. Purchase proceeds will go to, as listed on the shirt and shirt design.



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