I Miss You,Pang

This weekend, my sisters and I are home.
Imagine the scene.The house is noisy with laughter. Mom is cooking in the kitchen with us around the table, waiting for the food. The stereo is blasting with great music. The house is a mess. Everybody's having a great time. That is the scene here since last night. Only, someone is missing. Dad.

My dad, Papang to us, passed away 8 years ago. Quite a few years have passed but we still miss him everyday. He was 48 when he had kidney disease. He was sick for a month. The doctors told us to prepare for the worst. We thought we were. We were wrong.

Memories of him still brought tears to my eyes.I miss  his dinuguan and humba, the best Ive ever tasted. I miss how we ate karekare at his favorite resto,how we watched movies  and ate popcorn and polvoron, how he wanted only the best for us.

I have regrets ,too. I want to do more for papang. I have dreamed of travelling with him. Of him walking me to the altar on my wedding day.Of him seeing his granddaughter. He would have loved and spoiled  Zay, I knew he would. I regret I didnt asked for that dinuguan recipe. Even my chef husband cant equal that dinuguan. Yes, I wish he is still with us. We miss him so much it hurts.

Somewhere, I know he is watching, maybe even joining the fun.
I know he knows we love him.
I know in my heart that when I say "Happy father's day!", he is listening, happy that his wife and his daughters are doing well.