In her own room

Tonight,Zay set another milestone in her life. Tonight is the first night she slept all alone in her room. 
We have been talking about this for awhile now. I have instill in her the beauty of independence,the need for her to have a room for herself, the excitement of having her own bed with only her stuffed animals to share it with. And she seemed to like the idea. In fact,she was the one who kept insisting to get the room ready today so she can sleep on her own bed tonight. 

And indeed,she had her way. She was excited. I didnt have a hard time tucking her in bed. No tantrums. Nothing of her usual "pasumangil" tactics. Surprisingly,I didnt even had the time to read her a story. She fell asleep almost instantly.Its me who cant. 
My lil girl  dressed up as a teacher. 
I should be sleeping right now, too. I,who has been sleep-deprived for a few days now, should have been the first to plunge into dreamland. But no, i couldnt seem to sleep. 

Separation anxiety,perhaps? I tried to close my eyes but a part of my mind wanted to stay awake,in case Zay would call out in the middle of the night. A part of me wanted to be awake and ready in case she wanted to sleep with me and hubby. 

But its 1:55am. The world is silent. I seemed to be the only person in the world who was awake at this hour. I heard her stir from her bed once. I even heard her get out of bed. I was ready to open the door if she have knocked. But she didnt. She got back in bed a few moments later. 

Really, my daughter is growing up too fast, way too fast i cant seem to keep up. Im proud and happy for what she has accomplished so far in her first 6 years of her life. But i dread the day that she wont need me anymore. I know that day would come. But God, im not ready. I dont know if i'll ever be.


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